Anti-Jokes

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic' started by MNPro, Oct 16, 2012.

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  1. HarryTurney

    HarryTurney Forum Legend

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    What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

    The Holocaust.


    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue.
    I have a gun.
    Get in the van.
     
    #21 HarryTurney, Oct 16, 2012
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  2. HarryTurney

    HarryTurney Forum Legend

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    what did the lawyer say to the other lawer?

    we are both lawyers

    How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

    You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.
     
    #22 HarryTurney, Oct 16, 2012
  3. FillWerrel

    FillWerrel Survival Staff
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    What do you call a clown that is sad?

    A clown with bad depression after his recent loss of a job. He started doing drugs, his wife and kids left him. Now he walks the streets, make-up intact, begging for a new life.
     
    #23 FillWerrel, Oct 16, 2012
  4. pocketpallie

    pocketpallie Member

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    Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?

    She had dementia

    A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says,

    "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.


    Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.
     
    #24 pocketpallie, Oct 16, 2012
  5. FillWerrel

    FillWerrel Survival Staff
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    Shakespeare walks into a bar,

    Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.
     
    #25 FillWerrel, Oct 16, 2012
  6. pocketpallie

    pocketpallie Member

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    how did the girl die?
    she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

    :p
     
    #26 pocketpallie, Oct 17, 2012
  7. Dzyriq

    Dzyriq Just another humble Overseer

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    The secret of the polar bear is:
    That he wears long underwear
     
    #27 Dzyriq, Oct 17, 2012
  8. Dannylb

    Dannylb Well Known Member

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    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

    A stick.
     
    #28 Dannylb, Oct 17, 2012
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  9. FillWerrel

    FillWerrel Survival Staff
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    What do you call a boy with no leg?

    A victim of a horrible car crash.
     
    #29 FillWerrel, Oct 17, 2012
  10. Geekologist

    Geekologist Active Member

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    Why did the cow call the police?

    The farmer touched its teets
     
    #30 Geekologist, Oct 17, 2012
  11. jokerr77

    jokerr77 Active Member

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to the other side.

    Why can't the fat lady walk?
    She was crippled.

    What do you call a man in a business suit?
    A man in a business suit.

    How does a cat jump between tables?
    It jumps.


    Whats green and has wheels?
    Grass, I lied about the wheels.

    Knock, Knock.

    Who's there?

    Dave.

    Dave who?

    Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
     
    #31 jokerr77, Oct 18, 2012
  12. MNPro

    MNPro Active Member

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    Why did the boy fall of his bike?
    -He doesn't have hands
     
    #32 MNPro, Oct 18, 2012
  13. Dzyriq

    Dzyriq Just another humble Overseer

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    Why doesn't microsoft run a taxi service?

    -Their drivers tend to crash quite a lot.
     
    #33 Dzyriq, Oct 18, 2012
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  14. TechTeller

    TechTeller Forum Legend

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    That was punny, but I dont think it would be an anti-joke ;P
     
    #34 TechTeller, Oct 18, 2012
  15. IIMIWII

    IIMIWII Active Member

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    what did the crow say to the sickly looking woodlouse?
    NOTHING!!!! BIRDS CANT TALK!!!!!!!
     
    #35 IIMIWII, Oct 18, 2012
  16. Dzyriq

    Dzyriq Just another humble Overseer

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    Humty dumty sat on a wall ....
    Humty dumty had a great fall
    All the kings horses and all the kings men
    will never see such a big omelette again.
     
    #36 Dzyriq, Oct 18, 2012
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  17. Thr0ttie

    Thr0ttie Overseer

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    What do you call a Mexican who operates on people?
    A surgeon
     
    #37 Thr0ttie, Oct 18, 2012
  18. IIMIWII

    IIMIWII Active Member

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    what do you call a monky with two bannanas in his ears?

    an imature little prick for puttin na nas in his ears
     
    #38 IIMIWII, Oct 19, 2012
  19. beckiebird

    beckiebird Active Member

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    They stopped making pokemon
     
    #39 beckiebird, Nov 7, 2012
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