Survival I Need Helping Calming Down.

This has been a problem for me aswell. I still battle it quite often but not near as often anymore because I simply kept watching it. Every time I would start a fight on the internet over something I don't like, I would force myself to not send the reply or post.

I still slip up a lot, as I did fairly recently, as you know. However, I force myself to suck up my pride and apologize. It still hurts and I feel unfulfilled if I don't retaliate with something really dickish, but it hurts 100% less than it did, and is starting to become a norm for me anymore. My opinion is just become conscious of it and start forcing yourself to make the decisions that you feel are the least harsh. Eventually im sure you'll learn to avoid conflict unless it disgraces everything you stand for, which is what I want to achieve soon.

 

One thing I picked up was you seem to feel down when you're on a game like this. I've found useful is to remove myself from the situation, I don't want to add fuel to the fire and I can't if I'm not there. Essentially, leave that game and look for something else you like to do and it doesn't have to be on the computer, run a mile, play a game outside, punch a punch-bag, whatever.

What you expressed online was that the other party (not going to mention names) didn't speak for you, but yet somehow the ideas that they gave seemed to be against what you would have known or done. In a realistic matter, it good to look at the situation and say-
"this is not what I would stand for"
"this is not my voice"
"I don't agree with this"
And we are entitled to our opinions, the thing that I'd suggest working on is finding how to use that "in your face" attitude- not a bad thing to have in politics- when the time is right.

When you complained that the staff weren't listening, that was from your point of view that they seemed to not be responding the way you would have expected (my assumption- can be wrong). The fact of the matter is, they get tens if not hundreds of suggestions per day on what people would like to see in server. The reality is that they aren't listening it's that some ideas would i.e. give an unfair advantage, plugin incompatibility, or the idea goes against the rules of the server suggested for the change- as well as the shear volume of these ideas pouring in makes it hard for any one staff member to read through and comprehend the idea.

As well as that the final decision falls down to a handful of upper staff members that have to sift through all of the suggestions and see what would work and what wouldn't fit, and they aren't doing it just for 1 server. They are doing it for 4 servers, where just keeping those 4 up and running the way they are is a challenge in itself and having to upgrade and make sure all runs smooth is even more of a challenge on top of that.

It's not that we aren't listening to you as a person, it's that we are listening to you and all of the rest of the players as a community to make judgement calls on our next move.

 

Well after I had started one too many forum arguments from *one* suggestive comment I made which was usually unintentional, before I post something that might make someone mad I ask myself if it's necessary and I haven't started any forum arguments since.

People's opinions don't bother me on here it bothers me when people can't respect other people's opinions, so yeah

 

Not gonna lie I have this very same problem. Even on facebook I cause stirs and controversy everywhere I go. I've honestly got better by thinking
"If this was said to me would I be annoyed" if so
ditch it.
If your idea however gets disregarded and you get annoyed it then simply just think
"it's their opinion. It means nothing it's just what they think". It's a harsh thing to say, the concept someone's idea means nothing but it avoids a lot of trouble.

 

I suck at the internet too. Everyone knows that.

 

Simple fix, don't care what other people think about you or your ideas. lol.

Easier said than done I know... but its true, you shouldn't care what some random person sitting on the other side of the screen thinks about you. You don't know them, probably will never see them or talk to them beyond words on a screen... so why care?

Truth is that in life you simply cannot please everyone. It's an emotional trap when you start worrying about what other people think. We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like because we think we must be liked by everyone in order to be happy and that is just foolish.

My advice? Be you, don't be what other people want you to be. You can either go emotionally broke running around trying to please everyone, or you can spend your time creating, living and being authentic to who you are. If somebody doesn't like your idea, shrug it off and don't take it personally because I promise you that they are not sitting there brooding over it... its just in your head.

I will leave you with a quote:

 

Just remember that if someone disregards, insults your ideas aims etc, you dont need to care what they have to say, you can do it if you want (Within reason, obviously) , What do their opinions matter? If they dont like it, and have a pop at you because they dont like it just tell them to keep their opinions to themselves. Its hard, i know, but letting people who just want to take the piss and put you down get to you drives your sights away from what you want to do.

I mean lets put it like this, your current rank is architect yes? That means your ideas are good enough to earn a rank so who are they to put them down?

Now one tip i do have is to use the crap they come out with, and make it into something useful, prove them wrong.
But never get into an argument over it, trust me its not worth it.

I have exactly the same issue at times, so i know it feels pretty bad, but once you get used to the idea of not letting it bother you, it will get easier.

Always stand up for yourself, even if it means standing alone.

 

I think this just became one of my new favorite quotes